My Own Dogs and Friend's Dogs

• First dog walks into room. Sees christmas tree. Cocks leg. Marks territory. Second dog sees first dog. Thinks this must be a good idea. Follows suit.
• Owner is wallpapering in bedroom. Sheet of wallpaper is freshly pasted lying on the floor ready to be put up. Phone rings. Call answered. Upon return, dog is lying in the middle of the pasted paper. Sticky.
• Dog standing near portable calor gas heater. Dog is happy. Dog wags tail in and out of naked flame. Burnt hair smell.
• Dog happily chewing 'something'. Dog seems too relaxed. Upon futher inspection, 'something' appears to be a large peice of blu-tak.
• First dog is asleep on cushion. Second dog arrives, tries to curl up on top of the first dog. First dog is unhappy, which causes mild growling. Second dog leaves to do something different instead.
• 3am, owner is woken up to quiet growling and muffled barks. As owners eyes become used to the darkness, dog is staring into bedroom mirror - Sizing up dog IN the mirror.
• Dog is so frenzied by arrival of post, dog begins to wildly chew on potted cactus.

Dogs on the Net

• From The Register on Tuesday 9th November 2004:

  A dog in Turkey has wolfed down a mobile phone. The owner of the phone only discovered it was inside the mutt when he rang the number and heard the dog's stomach ringing.

  The man, a petrol station attendant, initially thought the phone had been stolen by a motorist filling up with fuel, according to the Andolou news agency by way of Ananova.

  But when he dialled the number he got the shock of his life when he heard his Nokia phone trilling from inside the pooch's tum.

  The phone owner has now been, ahem, "reunited" with his handset.